You're A Sta-a-aar!

Ah, it's Charity You're A Star time again, where TV personalitees "sing" their little hearts out only to have Brendan O'Connor, Amanda Brunker and Delta Goodrum's scruffy boyfriend ridicule them. But hey, that's ok, because of course all the judges are bonafide music exper- ahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa, sorry, no, no they're not and it would be wildly irresponsible of me to imply otherwise even in jest; what if some gombeen who doesn't get sarcasm happened to read that? This year's judging panel is comprised of Ireland's Angriest, Most Wierdy Nosed Man [who coincidentally happens to be Ireland's Greatest Egomaniac and Ireland's Most Conceited D*ckwad. Talk about value for money!], the Miss Ireland of 16 years ago turned Sunday World journalist [I know, I know, I also thought the two were mutually exclusive, but hey she's their "What Happened In Lillies Last Night" correspondant] and Delta Goodrum's scruffy boyfriend [he's with an Aussie now and apparantly that means best possible TV attire = combat shorts].

Of course, the judges don't just indiscriminately tear shreds off people; sure, as Brian Ormond's kilt telling us when he's not off camera having another layer of slap trowelled on or doing his best "pause for dramatic effect" pause before announcing a result, it's all for charidee. The judges aren't quite so mouthy if they're pally with the celebridee in question / want in their pants / might need to get tickets off them for some gig, natch. Case in point: La Brunker on the first night of the programme ho-ho-ing that she wasn't going to say anything bad about the kiddie TV presenting duo because she'll likely be looking for tickets to their shows for her sprogs in a few months time. Come back Linda, all is forgiven!

Why am I watching it, given that the whole thing irks me so?

Good question. Luckily, I have a good response all lined up and raring to go. I'm tuning in to keep abreast of how Sean Ban Breathnach is doing. He's representing The Carers Association, and I have little stubs where my fingers used to be from texting my support.

It goes without saying that all of the charities are incredibly worthy causes, but The Carers Association is one that strikes a particular chord with me, having watched the hardship my Mam endured caring for my Granny 24/7 when she lived with us. Although the government has begun to initiate some services for carers, the vast majority of Ireland's 150,000 family carers remain without vital services - just 18% are in receipt of the Carers Allowance.

The Carers Association is Ireland's national vountary organisation for and of family carers in the home, and delivers a range of services and supports to family carers. These include a home respite service, information and training, and a dedicated Care Line, in addition to lobbying politically at local and national level.

All funds raised through Charity You’re A Star will go towards providing essential respite, information, training and support services to family Carers through The Carers Association’s 16 centres nationwide.

The voting lines are now open. You can support The Carers Association by keeping Sean Ban Breathnach and his, eh, unique voice in the competition by phoning 1513 7171 04 or texting VOTE SEAN to 53600. Think of how cross Brendan will be! Imagine the state the furrow/overlap/whatever the hell that yoke is between his forehead and nose will be in with consternation and rage if Sean Ban were to win! Maybe he'd throw the towel in altogether *holds breath in hope...* Votes cost 60c, although calls from mobiles normally cost more.

And if you'd like to get up close and personal with The Unholy Judging Triumvirate and maybe give them a smack get yourself on De Telly you can call Geraldine on (086) 8076158 or Karen on (056) 7753600 to join The Carers Association supporters in the audience. Go on, your ma would only love to catch a glimpse of you on the box and sure [all together now] isn't it for charidee!

For more information about the services offered by The Carers Association, visit their website at www.carersireland.com.