Bankers.

I have just managed to lodge a cheque in AIB Portarlington! And it only took me three tries.

Sure what else have I to be doing with myself other than spending my days driving up and down to the bank in hopes that I might catch it off-guard at an open moment, ha?

I first tried to lodge my cheque yesterday. I pulled into the first parking spot I came across, paid my 20c for a parking ticket (yes, you have to pay for street parking in Portarlington nowadays. Oh, I'm sure the takings will be spent wisely) and headed over to the bank.

Where I was met with closed AIB blurple double doors. I checked the time. It was 12.47. "Fuck's sake" I thought crossly to myself, reckoning that they'd shut up shop early for a 1 o'clock lunch.

That kind of carry-on is not ok in a small country branch where I've never had more than three customers ahead of me at any given time, I fumed, especially when each of those has taken about 30 seconds to serve.

The second attempt came early this afternoon, and before I set off I hopped onto the AIB website to check their opening times. Helpfully, it told me that the branch is open "10.30 am to 3.00 pm (excluding lunch)" on Wednesdays. Maybe lunch is a moveable feast? Maybe it's like a fun little challenge for customers? "Ah go on, have a guess what time we'll be shut for lunch at!"

I was taking no chances, so I drove by the bank to make sure those blurple doors were thrown open. Yes! They were! I parked right around the corner, raced to the parking machine, threw a ticket up on the dash and sprinted back to the bank.

Closed.

At 12.29.

I swear to God it was like one of them was keeping sketch and they closed the doors for the laugh just as I rounded the corner.

I rang Himself and effed and blinded about the whole thing, giving out about them not even having the opening hours (including lunch) up in the window so that customers might know when to try again. As it is, they're just short of hanging out the windows and shouting "better luck next time, suckers!"

Well, just before 3 o'clock today, I Quick Lodged my cheque and located the branch opening times (turns out lunch is 12.30 - 1.30, FYI). They're conveniently stuck up on a glass door inside the foyer.

A door which is not visible to those without x-ray vision when the main exterior blurple doors are closed.

Complete genius.