Lyndar the Merciless

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Thursday, June 02, 2011   |   0 comments

To get away from a monster spider lurking in the hot press and our upstairs neighbours' noisy grandkids, I took myself into town on Tuesday evening to get something to wear to the two summer weddings we've been invited to.

Want to see what I tried on?  

At £150, I shouldn't even have tried on the dress on the left. It's way over budget, but at least I didn't fall in love with it in the changing rooms. I actually think it's wildly overpriced for what it is. It's a nicer, more Prussian blue colour in person, and the beading's lovely, but I just didn't think that it looked like an expensive dress when it was on.

It's also made for someone taller than me: the boob area seams were somewhere down around my waist, making the neckline look decidedly more daring than would be appropriate for a daytime event. And - as if I needed another reason to pass! - the pleating and flounciness on the lower half made me look (a) completely out of proportion and (b) like I had something to hide.


I am not very good (read: completely rubbish) at up-styling plain items of clothing, so I can't really see myself being able to make the shift pintuck number on the right look particularly special for a wedding. I can see it with a skinny gold metal or patent leather belt, or maybe some chunky jewellery, but that's about it.

This is a bit overpriced too, I feel, for a polyester offering that I can only really envisage as a day dress. It clocks in at £46.

The colour and cut were vay flattering, though, and it would be a good summer staple... ok, this is one that might yet find a way into my wardrobe after payday.

{floral printed tunic dress from Zara}

{lantern dress from Zara; the one I tried was this shape but plain hot pink}

I find that Zara clothes look great on the hanger but heartbreakingly manky on me. The fluorescent tube lighting down the sides of the mirrors of the Zara changing rooms that emit as much heat as they do unflattering light don't help matters. 

Both the above frocks made my mildy pear-shaped arse and hips look cartoonishly enormous. 

Yeh, a bit like that, but more tragic and less cutely kooky.

A quick look around Miss Selfridge, River Island and French Connection didn't turn up anything suitable either, and at that stage the shops were closing. 

It was time to head home. With, er...

{navy & cream heart print cardi from Topshop}

{bling & bowtie blouse from Ci Ci at Topshop}

{chunky costume necklaces with semi-precious stones from River Island Design Forum}

{gold Nadalia trainers from French Connection}

I don't suppose there's a chance that some permutation of these items will add up to a wedding outfit, is there?



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