I got ninety-nine problems and the fireplace is one

There is a problem with our new flat. I mean, there is definitely more than just one problem, but I'm trying to only fixate on one at a time so that my head doesn't explode.

Today's most pressing problem: the great big huge fugly fireplace.

I bet Jay-Z doesn't have to put up with this crap.

The fireplace is very nearly as tall as me and wider than my wingspan, which would be alright if it was a thing of beauty but this is a great hulk of overbearing brown and black and purple, like an angry bruise in fire-surround form, complete with broken corners, a badly scuffed black and grey hearth, and a piddly little faux-brass gas fire that looks lost in its cavernous depths.

It is probably my least favourite thing about the whole place; apart from the fact that it's so unchangeable and undisguisable, it's out of keeping with the rest of the flat and dominates the living room completely.

I thought adding a giant mirror above it would help to pull focus so I bought this one, which is very similar to a now discontinued Graham & Green multi-faceted mirror that I've been lusting after for about the last 6 years.

I thought all those angled mirrored panels would be better than a plain mirror which would just reflect the kitchen cabinets opposite (they're another problem, but we won't get into it now) and in that respect, the mirror works nicely. It's just that, despite its massive size (120cm x 80cm) it still looks kind of weeny on the giant mantle.

Oh, and it pulls focus to the bloody fireplace, which it looks quite mad on top of.

GAH. Hopefully I'll be able to return it and brainstorm a different solution to the fireplace conundrum. Ideally one that actually works to make the damn thing look less hideous.

At least my For Like Ever print is still looking as reliably awesome as ever, despite its puncture wounds. LUV U, poster x